They censored my baby. ; )

While we were in the middle of doing Ryan's science lesson, out of the blue he asked,"What is wrong with school?" I asked him what he meant.  He said that when he was in [public] school they had an in class project that required him to write a mini book.  He said that the teacher said that they could write about anything that they wanted and then they had to draw pictures and read it to the class.  He said that he wrote about Jesus and that his teacher said that he couldn't read it.  This came as a shock to me as he never told me about the situation. I asked, "Really, are you serious?" He said, "Yeah, what is wrong with school?" First, I was so proud that of all the things he chose to write about Jesus. Then, I was surprised not that he was censored, but that he didn't like that Jesus was not allowed.  I was so proud of him.  Don't get me wrong, I am not one of the homeschooling moms that bash the public school system.  (I know they exist.) I went through public school and my nieces and nephews currently attend public school.  My children excelled academically, had some good teachers and friends in public school and they may one day return. My simple reason for homeschooling is that it works for us. Current changes in my life may threaten my ability to continue homeschooling them, but with that being said I will continue to do so for as long as it works. I will at some point go more in depth with our homeschooling journey, but as this came up today I wanted to share this story. Until next time....

Tired of being good ...

So this is a question that I have posed to myself quite a few times over the years.  If everyone around you is doing whatever they want, having a great time, suffering very few consequences and are stress free, why not try it? I'm not talking about anything illegal. I'm just really tired of watching people skipping through life making decisions for right now without worrying or caring about the after effects.  While every decision that I make has been pushed through a filter of "what is best" or thinking of how will it affect someone else.  What about me? People think that because there are certain things that I don't do, it must be because I don't want to do them.  Not true. I have been to people what I wanted them to be to me, but somehow I don't get it back. Obviously, it's not important to them so why should it be to me? Don't get me wrong, I have some wonderful people in my life and my relationships with them remain the same.  But can't I have a trial period of just doing whatever I feel like? Not being sarcastic, but sincerely wondering. What does it feel like? It must be nice otherwise it wouldn't be so popular. I don't think that I would want to live that way 24-7, but a "vacation" every once in a while would be nice.  Rhianna has a song called Good Girl Gone Bad. The lyrics basically talk about a good girl who is fed up being done wrong and so she turns "bad". One line says that once a good girl has gone bad she's gone forever. If that's true, does that mean the lifestyle is so good or addictive that once you give it a try that you can't go back to being "good"? I understand that you should treat people the way that you would like to be treated, but doesn't that also work in reverse? I know this post is going to prompt some people to think differently about me and some will be tempted to contact me with every biblical verse that they can find about turning the other cheek, but this is how I feel. I think that if you were completely honest with yourself, you would admit that you have felt this way as well. Whether it was a friend, co-worker, family member, acquaintance or even a stranger, someone has caused you to ask this question.  I'm not saying that I am about to turn into a vigilante or a pleasure seeking narcissist, but it has crossed my mind. More than once.

                                                                                                                        *Good Girl Gone Bad*

Be Trustworthy ....

Communication is Key.... : )

So this couple made it to their 50 yr. anniversary and the husband says to the wife, "After all these years Honey, I find you tried and true." The wife being hard of hearing says, "Say what?" The husband says in a louder voice, "After all these years, I find you tried and true." The wife quickly responds, "Well after all these years, I'm sick of you too!".....LOL...

What you hear might not be what be was said.  Part of communication is not only hearing, but also understanding what was said.

Eyes wide open...

A few days ago I came to a realization. An epiphany. An awakening. Someone who knows my character, knows my heart and knows my spirit treated me as a stranger. Worse than a stranger, more like an enemy.  They took all of their frustration, pain, anger, hate, emptiness and loneliness and threw it all at me.  I was in shock. For a second, anyway.  I quickly came to my senses and terminated the conversation. I couldn't believe that they would speak to anyone that way let alone me. At that very moment, I lost the ability to have any empathy for that person. I can't imagine how to understand what that person is going through or feeling or dealing with, or how to feel compassion for them when they clearly do not have any respect or empathy for me, especially after all that I have been through.  Maybe I am still too angry or maybe this is just the way it's going to be. I don't know. I'm not sure if I care.  When you have been there for someone in ways that they don't even understand, when you have protected them (even from themselves) more than you have protected yourself and they are able to have selective memory and pretend that you are nobody.... That you are disposable, because those are the type of people that they are used to dealing with...  That they can lump you in with a group that is so beneath your character and that they can do it so effortlessly... Without remorse... How do you get past that?  How can I ever feel safe with them again? I don't think that I can. How can you have someone in your life that you can't trust? Someone that is your biggest fan one minute and your worse enemy the next? Says something today and disputes that the conversation even took place by tomorrow? I've been in damage control mode for so long. I wanted so much to remain friends, but they seem to be on a mission to destroy any chance of that happening. I fear for this person in so many ways, but I know now that I can't make this person seek out answers and resolutions. I can't force them to look in the mirror. There will always be a distortion in their favor that they see and as far as answers...they will shop around until they get the answer they want.  Maybe they will be fine. I truly hope so. I wish them clarity and peace. That's what a true friend does. You love some friends by your side and others you have to love from afar. I see clearly now and I know that complete peace will follow. Until then...I will continue on my journey with people in my life that understand my worth and consistently express it...

A Quick Update:

Ok, so since my post on April 3rd, alot has happened.  The loved ones that I mentioned both lost their battles - one on the evening of the other's funeral.  My niece's minor surgery turned major, with her ending up in ICU and on a respirator.  My move was anything but a smooth transition and I am physically and emotionally drained.  I completed the No Soda Challenge and Ryan and I succeeded with flying colors.  I soon had a few Pepsis and considering what I have been through, I am okay with that. (I could have definitely done ALOT worse!) I haven't had a soda in over a week and am back on track to having them in moderation.  My dad is doing better and we are awaiting news as to whether he will have to have surgery. His spirits are better and he's getting stronger everyday. My plan was to give more details, but at this point I can't.  I am too tired and just want to move forward.  I have cried and I have been angry.  I have forgotten to eat.... and at times I have forgotten to breath.  No more dwelling in this place.  I may visit from time to time, but no more dwelling.....

Accept Your Mistakes...

Financial Planning: Wise Money Management

Good financial planning is a part of wise stewardship.  To be a truly effective steward, you must believe unequivocally that the money being managed is someone else's money- God's money.  Having this perspective gives a person the freedom to use finances as a tool to accomplish God's purposes, recognizing that no one comes into this world with any possessions, and no one will leave with anything (Eccl. 5:15).

God has entrusted each person with certain resources.  Money is something that God uses to test your ability to handle properly the other gifts He desires to give you (Luke 16:11).  One day He will ask for an accounting of how you managed the resources He has given you (Luke 19:11-26).  A wife who manages resources wisely is a blessing to her husband and family (Prov.31:27-28).

Remember:
Avoid an overly consumptive lifestyle.  The Bible teaches moderation in all things (1Cor.9:25).
Avoid debt (Prov.22:7; Rom.13:8).
Maintain a savings program (Prov.12:11).
Set long-term goals (Prov.13:22).

                                                                                                           ~The Woman's Study Bible~

Dance.

I DON'T HAVE INTERNET!!!!! : (

I've been moving and have been without internet.  I will not have service for a few more days.  I promise to get back on track as soon as I can.  There will be some tasty recipes, some updates, some reviews, and unfortunately some sad news.  Until then......

Be present in this moment.