In ALL things show thanks!

....most of us show thanks for the good things, but how often are we thankful for the unpleasant things. (i.e. the poison ivy). I have heard that saying so many times throughout my life, but it never emotionally sunk in.  I have always understood that I should thankful, because things could always be worse....but to be thankful for the bad stuff???? I never got it....until recently.

Through my past posts, you can see that I was dealing with the stress of what I consider a deep betrayal.  I wanted so much to shut down, but I never did.  People around me thought that I was psycho, because I was so calm.  So much so that I started to wonder if something might be wrong with me.  But there wasn't, I had the peace that God promised he would give if we allow him to.  I had never felt it before, but I am so glad that I did.  It allowed me to think clearly and to continue to move forward.  I am thankful for that painful time, because it taught me how to let go and let God, it allowed me to truly forgive and it made me stronger.  It took away the weakness of fear and anger.  I learned so much and gained so much and I am very thankful.  I am thankful for the pain that brought me a new understanding of myself and new beginning.

Why have I been MIA for a while?...well that brings me to something else that I am thankful for....a diagnosis. Myofascial Fybromyalgia.  It is a life-long illness, but not a degenerative or terminal illness and for that I am thankful.  I take medication twice a day.  Am I in pain everyday?  Yes. I'm in pain right now.  Do my thoughts get jumbled? Yes.  Is it a struggle everyday to get up everyday, because of the sleep issues and fatigue? Yes.  My life has changed substantially.  My children's lives and my husband's life has been changed. Why then am I thankful?  First, because I was commanded to do so and I have seen what comes from truly being thankful in ALL things.  Secondly, I want my children to learn this lesson at a young age and not to waste time in moments of "why me?" or times of confusion, self pity or unnecessary sadness.  I am also thankful that I was reminded that I am not invincible.  I cherish the times with my family more.  I always cherished it, but it changes when you no longer believe that you will always be around, that there will always be more time.  I am thankful for the reminder to appreciate the pain free, quiet times. To have as much fun as I can, while I can, because I don't know what tomorrow may be like...or the next hour for that matter.  I am thankful that my boys have taken this in stride.  They step up in times when they see I can't and they do it in a way that doesn't make me feel insecure or saddened for my inability to act.  My illness is making them better gentlemen. Their future wives can thank me later. : ) My husband has stepped up in ways that I never thought possible.  He does not do well with hospitals, doctors or having to see me or the boys in any kind of pain.  In fact, I have to make him go to doctor appointments and he avoids hospitals as much as possible. He says that he can smell sickness when he walks in the door. Lol.  But, he refused to miss any of my appointments, he held my hand as they took my blood, he dressed me, fed me, held my hand while I cried from pain and fear.  He never flinched.  We often take into account that we will have to take care of an aging spouse at some point, but I'm 36.  That's alot to take on in the prime of your life.  But, he didn't flinch.  I still struggle with the guilt of not being able to do as much as before, for constantly saying I don't feel well and having to say "I can't".  He says, "that's okay, go lay down, take a break, I'll get it or, I will always take care of you".  He doesn't flinch.  I am thankful that my illness has brought an awareness of how much people love me.  Calls, prayers, cards.  It has reminded me to let people outside of my family know that I appreciate and/or love them and to not just wait for a special occasion or when I think they need to hear it the most.  People need that everyday.  I need that everyday.  It pushes you to take one more step when you feel like you can't go any farther.  It's energy.  It's strength.

I am thankful and I am proud of myself.  This journey has brought me to a new milestone.  I have learned to truly show thanks in ALL things!

To learn more about Fibromyalgia click here.  My journey down this road has just begun and I don't know where it will lead.   My understanding is that the symptoms will never go away, but through learning coping skills and medication it will get better.  If you suffer from Fibromyalgia or know someone that does, please share what is working for them or for you and I will do the same...until next time....

Communication is Key.... : )

So this couple made it to their 50 yr. anniversary and the husband says to the wife, "After all these years Honey, I find you tried and true." The wife being hard of hearing says, "Say what?" The husband says in a louder voice, "After all these years, I find you tried and true." The wife quickly responds, "Well after all these years, I'm sick of you too!".....LOL...

What you hear might not be what be was said.  Part of communication is not only hearing, but also understanding what was said.

Financial Planning: Wise Money Management

Good financial planning is a part of wise stewardship.  To be a truly effective steward, you must believe unequivocally that the money being managed is someone else's money- God's money.  Having this perspective gives a person the freedom to use finances as a tool to accomplish God's purposes, recognizing that no one comes into this world with any possessions, and no one will leave with anything (Eccl. 5:15).

God has entrusted each person with certain resources.  Money is something that God uses to test your ability to handle properly the other gifts He desires to give you (Luke 16:11).  One day He will ask for an accounting of how you managed the resources He has given you (Luke 19:11-26).  A wife who manages resources wisely is a blessing to her husband and family (Prov.31:27-28).

Remember:
Avoid an overly consumptive lifestyle.  The Bible teaches moderation in all things (1Cor.9:25).
Avoid debt (Prov.22:7; Rom.13:8).
Maintain a savings program (Prov.12:11).
Set long-term goals (Prov.13:22).

                                                                                                           ~The Woman's Study Bible~

But, I didn't say Twix.

On, Tuesday I was on the phone catching up with my friend M as we have been playing phone tag for over a week.  Just before we got off the phone, she said that if I needed anything to let her know.  I told her that I appreciated the offer, but that I was ok.  She said that she knew that I was like her and probably wouldn't take her up on her offer.  Knowing that she was right, but not wanting to say it, I told her that I would call if needed.  She said that to make it easier for me to ask for help, she would give me a code word. Twix. She said that all I had to do was call and say it or text it and that she would take it from there.  We ended our conversation and I went about my day.  The next day at 12pm I received a call from her.  She said, "I need to drop off dinner for you guys." I said, "What?, but I didn't say Twix".  M said that she knew I wouldn't call so she made dinner anyway.  We made arrangements and I thanked her with one of the most sincerest thank yous that I have ever given. (I hope that she knows that.) We hung up and all that I could say was, "Thank you, Jesus." I was so thankful! (I guess that she could hear in my voice that I really needed help.) She made two jars of White Chicken Chili and it was delicious.  She sent it with shredded cheese, jalapenos, sour cream and salsa. {My boys ate it plain w/ tortilla chips because they said that it was good all by itself. : ) } We  polished off a whole jar last night.  Click here for the recipe.  Thanks again, M.

* I am working on learning how to accept help and to ask for it.  You would think that it would be easy, but for me it is not.  I feel uncomfortable on the receiving end.  My mom once told me that accepting help isn't always about me, it's also about allowing others the opportunity to feel joy of helping.  She said that sometimes accepting help is actually a gift.  I'm working on it, mom.

Don't leave it on the desk...

I just got back from our "indoor picnic" at church and we had a great time.  Immediately, after service everyone filed downstairs for the picnic. (After the visitors and seniors, of course.) I made sure that we sat with members that we don't usually get to talk to or sit with during service, so that we can get more connected.  All you could hear was people having great conversations and the chattering and giggling of the small kids.  The was no shortage of food and I tried to sample almost everything ;  ).  I made meatballs and all that was left at the bottom of my dish when I left was one meatball, a piece of green pepper and a pineapple chunk. Yeah! I would have been depressed if it was barely touched. And yes, I secretly scanned plates to make sure that they weren't hidden under napkins on finished plates headed for file 13. (I know I 'm not the only one) ~Why do they call it file 13?~ Anyway, I am stuffed and need a cat nap. ~Why do they call it a cap nap?~  (Maybe, I should stop using phrases that I am not completely sure about. wink.wink.)  Well, in addition to those questions, I leave you with this................When I read this story I was truly touched and hope the same for you....

*PLEASE READ TO THE END. (YES, IT LOOKS LIKE ALOT, BUT YOU WILL BE GLAD THAT YOU DID!)

There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr Christianson, a studious man who taught at a small college in the western United States. Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in Christianity at this particular institution. Every student was required to take this course his or her freshman year, regardless of his or her major.

Although Dr Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of the gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon the course as nothing but required drudgery. Despite his best efforts, most students refused to take Christianity seriously.

This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve. Steve was only a freshman, but was studying with the intent of going onto seminary for the ministry. Steve was popular, he was well liked, and he was an imposing physical specimen. He was now the starting center on the school football team, and was the best student in the professor's class.

One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him.

" How many push ups can you do?"

Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."

"200? That's pretty good, Steve," Dr. Christianson said. "Do you think you could do 300?"

Steve replied, "I don't know.... I've never done 300 at a time."

"Do you think you could?" again asked Dr. Christianson.

"Well, I can try," said Steve. "Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and I need you to do about 300 push ups in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it," said the professor.

Steve said, "Well... I think I can... yeah, I can do it."

Dr. Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday. Let me explain what I have in mind."

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of donuts. No, these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend with a party in Dr. Christianson's class.

Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?"

Cynthia said, "Yes."

Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"

"Sure." Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.

Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe, do you want a donut?"

Joe said, "Yes." Dr. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push ups so Joe can have a donut?"

Steve did ten push ups, Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten push ups for every person before they got their donut.

Walking down the second! aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship.

When the professor asked, "Scott do you want a donut?" Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own push ups?"

Dr. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them."

Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then."

Dr. Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?"

With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten push ups.

Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!"

Dr. Christianson said, "Look!, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and these are my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk.

Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow.

Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry. Dr. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?"

Sternly, Jenny said, "No."

Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten more push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?"

Steve did ten... Jenny got a donut.

By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks.

Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to get these push ups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.

Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever in the class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full ten push ups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. He sent Robert over to where Steve was so Robert could count the set and watch Steve closely.

Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class, however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room. When the professor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now there were 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.

Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.

Steve asked Dr Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?"

Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your push ups. You are in charge now. You can do them any way that you want." And Dr. Christianson went on.

A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one voice, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!"

Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come."

Professor Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten push ups for him?"

Steve said, "Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut"

Dr. Christianson said, "Okay, Steve, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?"

Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on. "Yes," he said, "give me a donut."

"Steve, will you do ten push ups so that Jason can have a donut?"

Steve did ten push ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.

Dr. Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on those visitors seated by the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. By this time sweat was profusely dropping off of his face, there was no sound except his heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye in the room.

The very last two students in the room were two young women, both cheerleaders, and very popular. Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut?"

Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you."

Professor Christianson quietly asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?"

Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push ups for Linda.

Then Dr Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?"

Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. "Dr. Christianson, why can't I help him?"

Dr. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, Steve has to do it alone, I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing that everyone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not. When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked at my grade book. Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade. Everyone else has failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior work. Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up he must do push ups. I told Steve that none of you could come to my party unless he paid the price by doing your push ups. He and I made a deal for your sakes."

"Steve, would you do ten push ups so Susan can have a donut?"

As Steve very slowly finished his last push up, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 push ups, his arms buckled beneath him and he! fell to the floor.

Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said. "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, 'into thy hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten." Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat, physically exhausted, but wearing a thin smile.

"Well done, good and faithful servant," said the professor, adding "Not all sermons are preached in words."

Turning to his class, the professor said, "My wish is that you might understand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy that have been given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He spared not only His Begotten Son, but gave Him up for us all, for the whole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we choose to accept His gift to us, the price has been paid."

"Wouldn't you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on the desk?"

                                                                                                               ~Author Unknown~

The Spice of Life.....

I have gotten to a place where I am in a "love me or leave me" frame of mind, because now I truly love myself independent of how people feel about me or treat me.  I am not perfect, but I am darn near close and I say that not with conceit, but with pride.  I have worked very hard over the years to get here and I am still working.  I have had to challenge some of my "own" thoughts for proof of authenticity only to find that they were really the thoughts of others, disguised as being mine.  My idea of perfect, is me being true to my thoughts, beliefs, accomplishments, feelings, spirit and yes, even my mistakes.  My perfect may be the polar opposite of yours, but that's okay.  I'm the only one that can be me and you're the only one that can be you.  That's what makes this world so interesting! Off the subject (or maybe not), I have never liked that saying that America is the "Great Melting Pot".  The premise is that we all come together bringing different things and melt together to make something great.  The only problem with that scenario is that each ingredient loses some of the properties that made them unique and/or different and are no longer readily identifiable.  I chose to see America as the "Great Salad Bowl".  Cheesy, I know, but hear me out. In a salad, all of the ingredients keep what gave them their "flavor". You can look at the tomato and know what it is, it tastes the same, it retains it's firmness, and texture.  The same with all of the other ingredients.  They keep what made them special and yet come together to make something bigger, greater and new.  The dressing binds them together, just as the flag binds Americans or a common goal or bond binds any group of people together.  The point: no one should ever feel that they have to lose a part of who they are in order to belong to a group.  Different perspectives ignite conversations and ideas.  I love myself, but if I went to a group meeting and everyone dressed or looked like me, spoke like me and had the same ideas... first, I would pinch myself to see if I was sleeping or in the Twilight Zone.  Then, I would run to the nearest exit and find another group.  Although, it would be a delightful group of beautiful, intelligent, caring, funny women each wearing a hot pair of shoes (wink.wink), I need variety.  After all, as they say "it's the spice of life!"

~I'm not sure if I got off topic, changed the topic or what, but this is where my mind took me and I went with it. I hope that you didn't get lost along the way : ) ~

Contentment: The Ultimate Acceptance

Contentment is the ultimate acceptance of yourself, your surroundings, your past, and your future.  Yet, reaching this blessed state of contentment is not an easy task.  Satisfaction- when you have real unmet needs, freedom from worry when you have overwhelming concerns, patience in letting God work when pressures abound seem like impossible dreams.  Happiness-despite heartaches caused by the past, in the midst of tragedies experienced in the present, based on promises trusted for the future- is not merely a human pursuit but demands spiritual resources only found in the indwelling Holy Spirit.

God has chosen not to give you contentment as a gift.  He chose rather to teach you to be content as you allow him to be ruler in your life. Contentment is learned (Phil.4:11)  As you trust God's gifts to be sufficient and his assignments to be appropriate, you can accept the way you look, the means you have been given, the family in which you are living, the struggles through which you have gone, the job you have, being content and fulfilled in all (2 Cor. 3:5, 6; 12:9).

On the other hand, acceptance does not mean stagnation.  Dissatisfaction with areas in your life that can be changed, within divine guidelines, may help you to see that something is missing.  When this happens, you dare not adopt the "Canaan" syndrome of complaining.  Remember that God's people were not allowed to enter the Promise Land because of their murmuring (Josh. 5:6).  Rather, take that dissatisfaction to the Lord and see what He would challenge you to do, being willing in the meantime to be "content" as you work toward ultimate goals.  This is the balance between "I have learned to be content", and "I can do all things through Christ" (Phil. 4:11,13).

You must trust that God has given you everything needed for this moment in time.  You should be content with yourself, your family, your surroundings, your job, or your past.  As you depend on the Lord, you are content as you pursue His goals for your life.

                                                                                                      ~The Woman's Study Bible~

Thought: How are you worthy to receive bigger, better and newer if you aren't thankful for what you have now? Know that without contentment, you will never be happy, because there will always be something out there bigger, better and newer than what you have.  Besides, many have lost everything by jumping fences, because they thought that the grass was greener on the other side only to find out that it wasn't even grass, but some fake turf or a spray on color. : ) So enjoy what you have now and what is meant for you will come in time.....if it was to be yours...

P.S. Don't try to keep up with the Joneses, because they are broke!

Don't Be Afraid......

"Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be so brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are we not to be?  You are a child of God: Your playing small  doesn't serve the world.  There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.  It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
                                                                                                            ~Marianne Williamson~

Thought for Today...

'Take the high road, there's much less traffic, because few take it."
                                                                                                             ~Dr. Phil~

Grow Up!

The word "mature" is defined as having reached an advanced stage of mental or emotional development characteristic of an adult, while "immature" highlights one not fully grown or developed. {or deficient in maturity, lacking wisdom, insight, emotional stability}

Wise men increase in learning and understanding.  They never stop learning.  "A wise man will hear and increase learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel... Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser; Teach a just man, and he will increase in learning" (Proverbs 1:5, 9:9)

Children will fight and argue with one another; adults  learn to compromise to get along. Children are selfish and only think of receiving; adults are selfless and learn to love giving. Children cannot control their emotions; adult learn to rule their spirits and emotions. Children pout when they don't get their way; adults learn to overlook hurt. Children envy others for their advantages; adults rejoice in the blessings upon others. Children are moody and let others know it; adults crush their moods and hide them.  Children fail to look in the mirror or ignore it; adults cover their blemishes (James 1:25).

Am I, and have I, increased in all measures of spiritually mindedness and spiritual fruit? Am I stuck on a rut with little progress? Or have I actually regressed in recent months/years? Do I reflect the person, the grace, the character, and the gospel of Jesus Christ?

Am I a child or an adult?

                                                                                                               ~Min. Steve Miller~

It's A Miracle...

"There are two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as though everything is a miracle."       ~Albert Einstein

I choose the latter.  I am exhausted tonight, but I am truly thankful for all of my miracles.  It's a miracle that we completed our school work, I ran all of my errands, made a real dinner, played soccer with my boys, did three loads of laundry (even though I only put away two of them), washed dishes, took the boys to the movies and still got everyone in bed on time.  I am so thankful, that I just made a pan of brownies to celebrate. [Yes, I know what time it is.]  And it's gonna be a miracle if I don't eat the entire pan by myself ..... that may be the biggest miracle of them all!  : 0 )

*Choose to be positive. Your life might be jammed pack, exhausting and maybe even frustrating sometimes, but the alternative is that it could be empty.  See the miracles.

A Month of Black History: Day 29

This is our last day of A Month of Black History.  I hope that you have learned something new or were reminded of something that you forgot.  I know that I did.  Too often we walk through life consumed with ourselves...not thinking of those whose contributions of inventions, thoughts, accomplishments, blood, sweat and tears have built or brightened the paths that we all now walk.  This world is bigger than the small space that we as individuals take up.  We have to make this world better for those with us and after us.  The only way to do that is to keep hoping, dreaming and believing.  Yes, it sounds like lyrics for a new save the world song, but it's true.  So, I felt that the final post of this series should lead us into the new month with a challenge to make life better and more beautiful....

"In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope.  In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort.  In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream.  And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe."
                                                                                                                 ~Michael Jackson~
Are you up to the challenge?

A Month of Black History: Day 28

"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive.  He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.  There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us.  When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies."
                                                                                                        ~Martin Luther King, Jr.~

A Month of Black History: Day 27

"Courage is the most important of all virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently.  You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage."
                                                                                                                         ~Maya Angelou~

A Month of Black History: Day 26

"You may fill your heads with knowledge or skillfully train your hands, but unless it is based upon high, upright character, upon a true heart, it will amount to nothing.  You will be no better than the most ignorant."
                                                                                                           ~Booker T. Washington~

Lesson From Loss Pt.2

While yesterday's loss was not the first that I have suffered, it is the first since I have been on this journey.  After every loss (whether close to me or by an extended relationship) I asked myself the same questions that I asked myself yesterday.  However, this is the first time that I feel at peace with my answers.  Everyone in my life knows how I feel about them.  I have made it clear to them who I am (whether they have come to full acceptance or not) and all but one grievance has been fully conveyed.  The person is aware that they are no longer apart of my day to day life and that their actions are the reason why.  For that reason, I still feel at peace.  I have made my final wishes known and while I am in no way done being a parent, I have instilled good morals and principles in my children.  My prayer is that those things will not be lost when I am gone.  BTW: I have threatened them that I will come back and haunt them if they do. : ) When I started my journey, I thought that it was only preparing me to live a more authentic life.  I now see that it has also prepared me to be able to rest in peace.

*I will be posting a more complete message with the details of my journey at a later date.

Lesson From Loss Pt.1

I am truly saddened today.  Just hours ago I was informed that a family friend lost her battle with cancer.  While we knew it was coming, it still hurts.  I have told my self all the things that we always hear at a time like this..she's no longer in pain..she's in a better place...she's not suffering anymore...I know all of that in my head and yet my heart still hurts.  Death puts things in perspective.  I am sitting here thinking...if today was my last day, am I prepared?  Will I leave people with questions or at peace?  Will they replay memories of the real me or their vision of me?  Am I living today as though I have forever to resolve conflicts,  to say I love you or show that I care?  Life is to be cherished, but also respected.  We don't have control over it.  Don't waste time holding on to grudges or living a life that is not authentic to your spirit.  Live each day as though you have respect for life.  Robin did...and she fought hard to stay here........ Rest in peace Robin, you are already missed.

A Month of Black History: Day 24

"Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will."
                                                                                                          ~Martin Luther King, Jr.~

A Month of Black History: Day 21

"Work like you don't need the money.  Love like you've never been hurt.  Dance like nobody's watching."
                                                                                                                        ~Satchel Paige~

A Month of Black History: Day 20

"If you don't understand yourself, you don't understand anybody else."
                                                                                                             ~Nikki Giovanni~