This Woman's Work

Today, I woke up at 6:30 and for me that is NOT normal. I am by no means a morning person.  I often joke that Ryan and I are members of the 10 more minutes club.  When you wake us up, after we growl at you, without pause we groan, "10 more minutes, please". ; ) ....... I slept well and dreamt all night about people on there way to or from getting married (except for a brief dream about a tow truck picking up some cars) and I was happy for them. I think I even crashed a reception. {I might be adding that to my 2012 to do list. It looks fun in the movies.} ....Anyway, it was strange to have those dreams about happiness and new beginnings when I am currently dealing with loss and the anticipation of loss.  The loss of my best friend, the looming and inevitable loss of loved one's lives and the loss of what I envisioned for my future.  My father is ill. Which I have never known him to be sick, other than a cold. EVER! I'm packing for a move and the weather outside is cold and gloomy.  I am tired and mentally and emotionally drained.  I want to crawl into bed, under the covers and just disappear. But, I can't. I have to keep moving. I have things to do. I have people that depend on me. Maybe, my dream was to remind me to have faith in hope and the future.  I'm not sure. I know that this time will pass, but in this moment this is what I am feeling. So, I will put on a smile and keep it there until it feels right. I can't get lost. I just found myself......

                                                                                                              *This Woman's Work* by Maxwell