Eyes wide open...

A few days ago I came to a realization. An epiphany. An awakening. Someone who knows my character, knows my heart and knows my spirit treated me as a stranger. Worse than a stranger, more like an enemy.  They took all of their frustration, pain, anger, hate, emptiness and loneliness and threw it all at me.  I was in shock. For a second, anyway.  I quickly came to my senses and terminated the conversation. I couldn't believe that they would speak to anyone that way let alone me. At that very moment, I lost the ability to have any empathy for that person. I can't imagine how to understand what that person is going through or feeling or dealing with, or how to feel compassion for them when they clearly do not have any respect or empathy for me, especially after all that I have been through.  Maybe I am still too angry or maybe this is just the way it's going to be. I don't know. I'm not sure if I care.  When you have been there for someone in ways that they don't even understand, when you have protected them (even from themselves) more than you have protected yourself and they are able to have selective memory and pretend that you are nobody.... That you are disposable, because those are the type of people that they are used to dealing with...  That they can lump you in with a group that is so beneath your character and that they can do it so effortlessly... Without remorse... How do you get past that?  How can I ever feel safe with them again? I don't think that I can. How can you have someone in your life that you can't trust? Someone that is your biggest fan one minute and your worse enemy the next? Says something today and disputes that the conversation even took place by tomorrow? I've been in damage control mode for so long. I wanted so much to remain friends, but they seem to be on a mission to destroy any chance of that happening. I fear for this person in so many ways, but I know now that I can't make this person seek out answers and resolutions. I can't force them to look in the mirror. There will always be a distortion in their favor that they see and as far as answers...they will shop around until they get the answer they want.  Maybe they will be fine. I truly hope so. I wish them clarity and peace. That's what a true friend does. You love some friends by your side and others you have to love from afar. I see clearly now and I know that complete peace will follow. Until then...I will continue on my journey with people in my life that understand my worth and consistently express it...