About My Blog

October 16, 2011....my life was forever changed.  A revelation simultaneously killed one part of me, while bringing life to another.  I felt broken and yet strong at the same time. I was in so much pain, but completely numb.  I couldn't understand or explain it then and I still can't now.   I just know that it freed me from the edited life that I was living.  I always tell my boys to be themselves and not worry about what others think, because at the end of the day they have to be happy.  I tell them that as long as they make good choices, the opinions of others are just that...their opinions.  But I was not living the lesson.  I was what others wanted or expected me to be.  Yes, I made my own choices, but they were always edited to fit the expectations of others or edited out of fear of what others would think.  We all do it.  While there's nothing wrong with considering the feelings of others, there is something wrong with not living your truth.  I don't fit the mold and that's okay. I am the walking definition of oxymoron and I couldn't be happier.  I am a black, married, 36 year old mom with a motorcycle license.  I listen to Rock, R&B, Rap (clean), Classical, Jazz, Pop and wait for it..... Country.  I homeschool my children and no we don't live in the woods or have 12 children and I don't make our clothes. Although, I do a mean button stitch. : ) FYI: I have 2 boys and they excel academically.  I am a Christian and *spoiler alert*..... I have tattoos.  I am very outspoken, vocal and feel so powerful and yet I like taking the submissive role.  I am very much the girl next door, but boy do I have a wild side.  The pain of October 16th taught me that living to the expectations of others would not protect me from being hurt.  So, if I am vulnerable if I live for others and I am vulnerable if I live my truth, doesn't it make more sense to live my truth? at least then, if I am  hurt I will have some peace in knowing that at least I was authentic.  I embarked on this journey not out of choice, but nonetheless I am so thankful that I am on it.  I am finally living my life unedited.  I have lived more in the past few months than I have in years.  I have always been responsible for the energy that  I share and now I hold others responsible for the energy that they bring into my life.  Relationships that drain my spirit are ended and those that renew my spirit are strengthened.  I love who I am.  I truly love who I am.  You would think that would be the end of the story but it's not.  It's just the beginning.  I am learning how stay true to myself.  Kinda like a detox from all the subliminal and/or direct messages that have been ingrained in my mind of who I am supposed to be or look like.  I'm taking life as it comes and I hope that you will join me on this journey or at least hitch a ride every once in a while. Caution! It may be a bumpy ride. ; )

Click Butterflies, Dandelions and Poison Ivy for the meaning of the blog's name.