Saying Goodbye to Robin

I literally just got back in town from attending Robin's funeral service.  I am mentally and physically exhausted, so I will keep this short.  I always knew that Robin had a beautiful spirit, but it wasn't until I listened to others give their account of memories of her that I realized just how beautiful.  She was older than me, so by the time that I reached the age when I could truly appreciate her spirit she had moved away.  She would visit from time to time, but now I know that those visits were not long enough.  Her service was beautiful.  We cried, laughed and cried some more, but it closed with everyone in a good place.  She touched so many in a good way and if only a few pay it forward, the world will be a better place for it.  No more tears, we must live this life in a way so that we will see her again.  This was not goodbye....only goodnight.

Lesson From Loss Pt.2

While yesterday's loss was not the first that I have suffered, it is the first since I have been on this journey.  After every loss (whether close to me or by an extended relationship) I asked myself the same questions that I asked myself yesterday.  However, this is the first time that I feel at peace with my answers.  Everyone in my life knows how I feel about them.  I have made it clear to them who I am (whether they have come to full acceptance or not) and all but one grievance has been fully conveyed.  The person is aware that they are no longer apart of my day to day life and that their actions are the reason why.  For that reason, I still feel at peace.  I have made my final wishes known and while I am in no way done being a parent, I have instilled good morals and principles in my children.  My prayer is that those things will not be lost when I am gone.  BTW: I have threatened them that I will come back and haunt them if they do. : ) When I started my journey, I thought that it was only preparing me to live a more authentic life.  I now see that it has also prepared me to be able to rest in peace.

*I will be posting a more complete message with the details of my journey at a later date.

Lesson From Loss Pt.1

I am truly saddened today.  Just hours ago I was informed that a family friend lost her battle with cancer.  While we knew it was coming, it still hurts.  I have told my self all the things that we always hear at a time like this..she's no longer in pain..she's in a better place...she's not suffering anymore...I know all of that in my head and yet my heart still hurts.  Death puts things in perspective.  I am sitting here thinking...if today was my last day, am I prepared?  Will I leave people with questions or at peace?  Will they replay memories of the real me or their vision of me?  Am I living today as though I have forever to resolve conflicts,  to say I love you or show that I care?  Life is to be cherished, but also respected.  We don't have control over it.  Don't waste time holding on to grudges or living a life that is not authentic to your spirit.  Live each day as though you have respect for life.  Robin did...and she fought hard to stay here........ Rest in peace Robin, you are already missed.

Whitney Houston...A Legend Lost...1963-2012

Today at 3:55pm, we lost a legend.  I remember dancing around in my room (and sometimes in public, wink.wink) with an imaginary mic singing her songs.  It is true that Whitney faced many demons, but who hasn't or doesn't.  We just have the luxury of not having cameras in our faces everyday to document them or being famous enough that people are willing to sell our secrets for a small fortune.  She was just like us and yet so much more.  I will always be thankful to her for creating the soundtrack to many of my fondest memories.  Rest in peace, Whitney.....you will be missed.....